Improving me

I used to be someone who is never happy with what I have.

I was without self confidence, and keep one blaming other people for whatever weaknesses I have.

The person whom I blamed was always my mother...ha ha

yeah, I am fat because of the eating culture I inherited from the the family

I am lack of confidence because she kept on complaining, she nagged on every single thing, there's always a better way in doing things...bla bla bla. Nothing is perfect and she is always worry, kept on looking at things from the negative point...when I started to have little confidence, she will tell me not to get overboard...ha ha...and being naive, I took it from different way...a wrong way...hmmmm

But I was lucky because I have good friends around me and I was opened for improvement. I learned from people around me, the surroundings and also from reading.

I learned that I am not bad at all compared from many other people.

From my mother's constant nagging, I became someone proper, and behaved. I just need to open up and loosen up a little. I have all the basics..really, polish it a little, and there, I can shine...ha ha ha

Just don't do what you do not like others to do to you...and if you are kind to others, you will be treated nicely by other people. If you are cold to others, that is what you will get in return.

Nowadays, the circle of people I have to meet everyday varies. Foreigners from overseas come every week. And I just have to learn to behave, yeah, and within this circle I think the most important thing is to relax and be confident of yourself...

They can feel it if you are not relaxed.  These people are usually the top people from companies and they are very rich, knowledgeable and experienced people. I must admit that I do feel  out of place sometimes and feel like going out somewhere instead of being with all these people.

I felt so small mingling with all these tycoons...even though I am big/fat...ha ha

But they need out assistance despite of the fact that I am not as rich...kan? So, with whatever I have, I gather my confidence, try to relax and...I just made it through so far..

Ha ha...it is not easy to become someone...how to say...polished? huh, you have to move right, say the right thing, and most importantly give right advice?...ha ha...I am still learning now but I think I am improving? yeah...insya allah