What if...

I had a discussion with hubby yesterday. I asked him:

cbib : en shuk, what if I never stop growing?

en shuk: huh?

cbib : what if I keep on growing and growing?...and become like Adibah Noor

en shuk : jangan la cakap cbib, kan setiap kata-kata tu doa..

cbib : saya takut...

en shuk : okay, pasni jangan makan...

cbib : ?? macam mana tu?

en shuk : ...

cbib :....

Ya allah, tunjukkanlah jalannya untuk aku hilangkan sikit lemak-lemak di badan ni, amiiinnn

Kita selalu lupa bersyukur dengan apa yang dikurniakan oleh Allah kepada kita tapi kita selalu mengeluh dan mengharapkan sesuatu yang kita tiada. Perkara yang normal rasanya.


Tak payah pergi jauh, melihat diri sendiri, saya juga sering mengeluh..kenapa la tak kurus-kurus nih?..he he...tapi, kalau tengok balik, orang-orang yang sudah cukup jelita pun, masih tidak bersyukur kan?...macam Rozita Che Wan, memang sudah sempurna, tapi masih memakai makeup tebal dan bulu mata palsu..masih tidak berpuas hati.


Umi Aida tu, sudah cukup cun, tapi masih menyuntik botox...keinginan untuk menjadi lebih baik (atau sempurna kononnya), akhirnya menjadi satu kelemahan diri..


Saya ada menerima SMS dari kawan baru-baru ...dia bercerita bagaimana dia tidak larat dengan perangai anak-anak yang sering berkelahi.. he he, being with 30 nieces/nephews on my side, and other 30 on my husband's side, I am used to this 'berkelahi' among siblings thing. I don't know, but being without children, I do think that one should be thankful if they have
children after all. It's God's gift..greatest gift!!


I would like to share a story which I have copied from one of my friend's notes. It's a sad ending story but I hope it would remind us to treat those around us nicely. Please do appreciate those around. And remember, what you give, you will get back!


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Sebuah kisah untuk renungan kita bersama. Kereta dihentikan betul-betul di hadapan rumah. Pintu pagar automatiknya terbuka. Perlahan kereta di halakan ke dalam garaj. "Horey! Papa balik!" Kelihatan anak-anaknya berlari mengiringi keretanya. "Tepi! Bahaya tau tak?" Jeritnya. Anak-anak termanggu. Cahaya kegembiraan di wajah mereka pudar. "Aimin bawa adik ke belakang." Arahnya pada anak yang sulong.

Pulangnya petang itu disambut dingin oleh anak-anak. Isterinya turut terdiam bila mendengar anak-anak mengadu tentang papa mereka. "Papa penat. Aimin bawa adik mandi dulu. Mama siapkan minum petang.. Lepas minum papa mesti nak main bola dengan kita," pujuk Laila. Dia yang mendengar di ruang tamu hanya mendengus.

Seketika kemudian terdengar hilai tawa anak-anaknya di bilik mandi. Dia bangun. "Hah! Main air. Bil bulan ini papa kena bayar dekat seratus. Cepat! Tutup paip tu! Buka shower!" Sergahnya. Suara yang bergema mematikan tawa anak-anaknya. "Asal saya balik rumah mesti bersepak. Kain baju berselerak.

Apa awak makan tidur aje ke duduk rumah?" sambungnya kembali bila isterinya terpacul di belakang pintu. "Anak-anak pa. Diorang yang main tu. Takpe nanti mama kemas. Papa minum ye. Mama dah siapkan kat taman." Balas isterinya lembut. "Fail saya kat depan tu mana?" "Mama letak dalam bilik. Takut budak-budak alihkan." "Boleh tak awak jangan usik barang-barang saya? Susah tau tak? Fail tu patutnya saya bawa meeting tengahari tadi." Rungutnya sekalipun di hati kecil mengakui kebenaran kata-kata isterinya itu.

Suasana sepi kembali. Dia menarik nafas berat. Terasa begitu jauh berbeza. Dia tercari-cari riuh suara anak-anak dan wajah isterinya. "Laila…" Keluhnya Akhirnya dia terlena di sofa. "Saya nak ke out station minggu depan." "Lama?" Soal Laila. "Dalam seminggu." "Cuti sekolah pun lama. Mama ikut boleh?" "Budak-budak? " "Ikut jugalah." "Dah! Takde! Takde! Susah nanti. Macam-macam diorang buat kat sana. Tengok masa kat Legacy dulu tu…"

"Masa tu Amirul kecik lagi." Balas Laila. Wajahnya sayu. Dia masih berusaha memujuk biarpun dia tahu suaminya tak mungkin berganjak dari keputusan yang dibuat. Tak mungkin peristiwa Amirul terpecahkan pinggan di hotel dulu berulang. Anak itu masih kecil benar sewaktu ia berlaku. Lagipun apa sangatlah harganya pinggan itu malahan pihak hotel pun tak minta ganti rugi.

"Bolehlah Pa! Lama sangat kita tak ke mana-mana." "Nak jalan sangat Sabtu ni saya hantar awak balik kampung," Muktamad! Demikianlah seperti kata-katanya. Anak-anak dan isterinya dihantar ke kampung. Laila tak merungut apa-apa meskipun dia tahu isterinya berkecil hati.

Anak-anak terlompat riang sebaik kereta berhenti di pengkarangan rumah nenek mereka. Tak sampai setengah jam dia telah bergegas semula untuk pulang. Bapa mertuanya membekalkan sebuah kitab lama. "Cuba-cubalah baca. Kitab tu pun abah ambil dari masjid. Dari mereka bakar abah ambik bagi kamu!"

"Manalah saya ada masa.." "Takpe..pegang dulu. Kalau tak suka pulangkan balik!" Dia tersentak dari khayalannya. "Kalau tak suka pulangkan balik!" Kata-kata itu bergema di fikirannya. Dia rasa tersindir. Tahukah bapa mertuanya masalah yang melanda rumahtangganya itu? Bukan..bukan tak suka malah dia tetap sayang sekalipun Laila bukan pilihannya. Dunia akhirat Laila adalah isterinya. Cuma..

"Mizi, makan!" Panggil ibunya yang datang menemaninya sejak seminggu lalu. "Jangan ikutkan hati. Yang sudah tu sudahlah."

"Papa! Makan!" Jerit Aiman ,anak keduanya sambil tersengih-sengih mendapatkan dirinya. "Tak boleh panggil papa elok-elok. Ingat papa ni pekak ke?" Aiman menggaru kepalanya yang tak gatal. Pelik! Kenapa papanya tiba-tiba saja marah. Dia berpatah semula ke dapur. "Awak masak apa?" "Mama masak sup tulang dengan sambal udang!" jawab Amirul memotong sebelum sempat mamanya membuka mulut. "Takde benda lain ke awak boleh masak? Dah saya tak nak makan. Hilang selera!" "Papa nak ke mana?" Soal isterinya perlahan. "Keluar!" "Mama dah masak Pa!" "Awak saja makan!" "Takpe Aiman boleh habiskan. Cepatlah ma!" Laila tahu Aiman hanya memujuk. Anak keduanya itu sudah pandai mengambil hatinya.

Aimin tersandar di kerusi makan. Sekadar memerhati langkah papanya keluar dari ruang makan. "Kenapa sekarang ni papa selalu marah-marah ma?" Soal Aimin sambil menarik pinggannya yang telah berisi nasi. "Papa banyak kerja agaknya. Dah! Makan."

"Abang tak suka tengok papa marah-marah. ..." "Adik pun sama. Bila papa marah muka dia macam gorilla kan?" Kata-kata Aiman disambut tawa oleh abang-abangnya yang lain. Laila menjeling.. Di hati kecilnya turut terguris Besar sangatkah dosanya hingga menjamah nasi pun tidak. Kalau ada pun salahnya, apa?

Syamizi menjengah ke ruang dapur. Kosong. "Laila.." serunya "Sudahlah tu Mizi! Jangan diingat-ingat. Kerja Tuhan ni tak dapat kita tolak-tolak. Bawak-bawaklah beristighfar. Kalau terus macam ni sakit kau nanti." Kata ibunya yang muncul tiba-tiba.

"Sunyi pulak rumah ni mak," "Lama-lama kau biasalah." Airmatanya menitis laju. "Kalau tak suka pulangkan!" Dia rasa terhukum. Hampir segenap saat kata-kata itu bergema di sekitarnya. Dia rasa terluka. Kehilangan yang amat sangat.

"Papa beli apa untuk Aiman?" Soal Aiman sebaik dia pulang dari outstationnya. "Beli apa pulak? Barang permainan kan bersepah dalam bilik belakang tu."

"Tak ada lah?" "Ingat papa ni cop duit?" Aiman termanggu. Dia berlalu mencari mamanya di dapur. Seketika kemudian rumah kembali riuh dengan telatah anak-anak lelakinya yang bertiga itu mengiringi mama mereka yang sedang menatang dulang berisi hidangan minum petang. Wajah Laila direnungnya. Ada kelainan pada raut itu. Riaknya tenang tapi ada sesuatu yang sukar ditafsirkannya.

"Awak tak sihat ke?" Laila tersenyum. Tangannya pantas menuang air ke cawan. "Papa, tak lama lagi abang dapat adik lagi." Aimin mencelah di antara perbualan kedua ibu bapanya. Shamizi tersenyum. Jemari isterinya digenggam erat. Tiba-tiba cawan berisi kopi yang masih panas terjatuh dan pecah di lantai. Aiman tercegat.

"Tengok! Ada saja yang kamu buat. Cuba duduk baik-baik. Kalau air tu tak tumpah tak sah!" Tempiknya membuatkan anak itu tertunduk ketakutan. Baju mamanya dipegang kejap. Lengan Aiman dipegangnya kuat hingga anak kecil itu mula menangis. Pantas saja akhbar di tangannya hinggap ke kepala anaknya itu.

Laila cuba menghalang tapi dia pantas dulu menolak isterinya ke tepi. Aiman di pukul lagi. Amirul menangis. Aimin mendapatkan mamanya. "Perangai macam beruk! Tak pernah buat orang senang!" Laila bangun dari jatuhnya dan menarik lembut Aiman ke dalam pelukkannya. Airmata mereka bersatu. Pilu sungguh hatinya melihat kekasaran suaminya terhadap anak-anak.

"Cukuplah pa. Papa dah hukum pun dia tapi janganlah sebut yang bukan-bukan. " Ujar Laila perlahan "Macamana awak didik budak-budak sampai macam ni teruk perangainya? Tengok anak orang lain ada macam ni? Anak kak Long tu tak pulak macam ni. Panjat sana, kecah barang. Gila apa?" Omelnya kembali.

Shamizi meraut wajah. Bukan kepalang salahnya pada Aiman. Padanya anak itu tak pernah dapat memuaskan hatinya. Ada saja salah Aiman di matanya. Ada saja yang kurang di hatinya terhadap anak-anak dan isteri. Tak cukup dengan perbuatan malah dia begitu mudah melemparkan kata-kata yang bukan-bukan terhadap mereka. "Tak boleh ke kamu semua senyap? Dalam sehari ni boleh tak diam? Rimas betul duduk dalam rumah ni." Laila menyuruh anak-anaknya bermain di halaman belakang rumah. Memberi sedikit ruang buat suaminya menonton dengan tenang. Malangnya tak lama kemudian kedengaran bunyi tingkap kaca pecah...

"Celaka betul!" Sumpahnya sambil menghempaskan akhbar ke meja. "Abang!" "Baik awak tengok anak-anak awak tu sebelum saya hambat dengan rotan! Perangai satu-satu macam tak siuman!" Getusnya kasar.

Akhirnya tingkap yang pecah kembali diganti. Cerita sumpah seranahnya petang itu hilang begitu saja. Laila berubah. Sikapnya yang pendiam menjadi semakin pendiam. Anak-anak juga sedikit menjauh. Tak ada lagi cerita Amirul di tadika. Tak ada lagi kisah Aimin yang cemerlang di dalam sukan sekolahnya. Aiman juga tak lagi mahu memanggilnya makan. Shamizi terasa puas hati. Barangkali itu saja caranya untuk memberi sedikit pengajaran pada anak-anak.

"Pak Ngah, Eddie nak balik!" Shamizi terpana. Dia mengangguk. "Kak Long balik dulu Mizi. Sudahlah! Kamu muda lagi. Cari pengganti." Alangkah mudahnya. Kalaulah dia boleh bertemu lagi yang serupa seperti Laila. Laila tak ada yang kurang Cuma dia yang tak pernah puas hati. Laila tak pernah merungut. Laila tak pernah membantah. Sepanjang usia perkahwinan mereka Laila tak pernah meminta lebih dari apa yang dia beri. Laila cuma dapat gred B walaupun dia teramat layak untuk mendapat gred yang lebih baik dari A.

"Laila…" "Papa nak ke mana hensem-hensem gini?" Dia tersenyum sambil menjeling ke cermin meninjau bayang isterinya yang kian sarat. "Wangi-wangi lagi. Dating ye?" "Saya ada makan malam di rumah bos besar. Dia buat makan-makan untuk staff." Ujarnya masih leka membetulkan kolar kemeja batiknya.

"Ikut boleh?" "Dia tak ajak family. Staff only!" Terangnya sedangkan difikirannya terfikir lain. Kali ni dia akan pergi ke jamuan tu dengan Helmi. Helmi akan turut menumpangkan Maria dan Harlina. Staff yang masih muda dan bujang. "Dalam setahun papa selalu ke jamuan office tapi tak pernah pun bawak kami." "Leceh kalau ada budak-budak. Bukan tau duduk diam Lari sana sini, panjat itu ini. "

"Papa pesanlah.." "Nantilah besar sikit." Dalihnya. "Kalau tunggu besar takut takde peluang. Nanti diorang tu dah tak nak ikut pergi mana pun." "Lagi senang. Saya kalau lasak-lasak ni buat hati panas je,"

Laila terdiam. "Namanya budak-budak. Anak-anak papa tu lelaki." "Saya pergi kejap je. Lepas tu terus balik." "Mama tanya sikit boleh?" Dia mengangguk "Bos tak pelawa atau papa malu nak bawa mama dan anak-anak?" Mereka dia tinggalkan di rumah. Di jamuan tu ramai staff yang membawa keluarga mereka bersama. Pada Shamizi dia mahukan keselesaan sedangkan hakikatnya anak-anak staff yang lain lebih lasak dan nakal.

Semeja hidangan untuk anak-anak staff berderai bila ada yang bermain tarik-tarik alas kainnya. "Never mind. Budak-budak memang macam tu. Kalau tak lasak tak cerdik," ujar Mr. Kwai, tuan rumah. Shamizi sedikit mengakui kebenaran kata-kata itu. Anak-anaknya pun nakal tapi amat membanggakan dalam pelajaran. Namun dia rasa serba tak kena bila bersama mereka. Bimbang ada yang menyata yang bukan-bukan tentang anak-anaknya yang lasak apatah lagi tentang isterinya Laila. Bimbang dimalukan dengan perangai anak-anaknya. Bimbang jika dikatakan Laila tidak sepadan dengan dirinya. Dia lulusan luar negara sedang Laila cuma perempuan kampung. Tak pandai bergaya seperti staff wanita yang lain.

Betullah jangkaan Laila, dia malu untuk memperkenalkan isteri dan anak-anaknya pada rakan-rakan. "Kalau tak suka pulangkan!" Kata-kata itu semakin keras di fikirannya. Pagi itu anak-anak sekali lagi dimaki sebelum ke sekolah. Semata-mata bila Aimin dan Aiman bergelut berebutkan tempat duduk di meja makan menyebabkan air cuci tangan tumpah ke meja. Berangnya tiba-tiba menguasai diri. Kepala kedua-duanya di lagakan sedangkan perebutan itu tidak pula disusuli dengan perkelahian.

"Kamu semua ni..kalau macam ni daripada ada elok tak ada. Menyusahkan! " Laila merenungnya dalam.. Matanya berkaca dan anak-anak ke sekolah tanpa menyalaminya seperti selalu. Laila juga tidak berkata apa-apa sebelum menghidupkan enjin untuk menghantar anak-anak ke sekolah. Shamizi dapat melihat Laila mengesat airmatanya. Dia terus menghadapi sarapannya. Sejenak dia terpandang hidangan untuk anak-anak yang tak bersentuh. Susu masih penuh di cawan. Roti telur yang menjadi kesukaan anak-anak juga tidak dijamah. Bekal di dalam bekas tidak diambil. Pelik! Selama ini Laila tak pernah lupa..

"Kalau tak suka pulangkan," Kali ini dia benar-benar menangis. Laila dan anak-anak terus tak pulang selepas pagi itu. Hari-harinya tak lagi diganggu dengan gelagat anak-anak. Rumah terus sunyi dan sepi. Tetap dia tak dapat tidur dengan lena. Di halaman belakang hanya ada kenangan. Kelibat anak-anaknya bergumpal dan berlari mengejar bola tak lagi kelihatan. Riuh anak-anak bila mandi di bilik air juga tidak lagi kedengaran. Dia mula dihambat rindu. Hanya ada kesunyian di mana-mana. Hanya tinggal bola yang terselit di rumpun bunga. Selaut rindu mula menghambat pantai hatinya.

Laila… Benarlah, kita hanya tahu harganya bila kita kehilangannya.

Laila terus tak pulang sekalipun dia berjanji untuk berubah. Laila pergi membawa anak-anaknya pagi itu bila kereta mereka dirempuh sebuah kereta lain yang dipandu laju. Laila pergi tanpa meninggalkan satu pun untuknya. Laila pergi membawa Aimin, Aiman, Amirul dan zuriat yang bakal dilahirkan dua bulan lagi.. Dia menangis semahu-mahunya bila menatap wajah lesi anak-anak dan isterinya. Dia meraung memeluk tubuh Laila yang berlumuran darah. Hakikatnya Laila adalah kitab lama itu, lapuk bagaimana pun dipandangan harganya tak terbanding, dan kerana keengganannya Laila dipulangkan.

Bilik-Bilik

Hmmm, entry terdahulu ada gambar-gambar ruang tamu dan dapur rumah kan? Sempena setahun duduk di Ferum ni, saya nak letak gambar bilik pulak...sejak akhir-akhir ni, ramai pulak orang yang datang, sampai ada masa tu, tak cukup bilik. Walaubagaimanapun, kalau setakat 1 keluarga tu, memang cukup, insya allah.

Yang ni bilik kecil di bawah. Sekiranya emak/mak mertua yang datang, this room is their room. Kalau tetamu datang dan ingin bersolat, they will use this room also. Bilik ni nostalgia sebab perabotnya semuanya perabot yang saya beli sejak duduk di seksyen 17 Petaling jaya lagi...for this reason, this room is special to me.

Almari ni saya beli dengan Shima di...PJ juga, ingat kedainya, tapi tidak ingat seksyennya...he he..Shim, hang punye wardrobe tu elok lagi tak?..oppss, penyidai baju kat atas tu pun saya beli di kedai yang sama..dah sepuluh tahun lebih saya guna
Katil..katil ni sebenarnya saya ambil orang buang...ha ha ha...orang tu letak kat tangga rumah, saya ambil...saya bukan curi, kalau orang tu nak amik balik, amikla, saya cuma sayang tengok barang dibuang-buang. Katil ni telah saya gunakan di 5 rumah (seksyen 17 dua rumah, Bangsar, dan Shah Alam 2 rumah)...berkat pulak katil ni kan??

ooo ye, tilamnya (walaupun tak nampak), saya beli dari China jual tilam yang naik lori tuh..China tu gila, ada ke dia ajak saya dengan Shim g keluar makan dengan dia? Ada satu hari tu (waktu cuti), saya tengah sidai baju, dia lalu dengan lori dan jerit-jerit tanya saya nak keluar dengan dia tak? betulla, kebetulan, ada sorang brother yang duduk a few houses away lalu dengan kereta dia waktu tu ( I memang berkenan dengan brother ni)...apa lagi, brother ni pun tengok semacam je dengan I...isk..betul la, buat leceh betul China tu

Oh, comforter tu pulak, beli dari Kak Roshaini aja, tolong dia kan...saya suka comforter tu, tapi memang sudah lusuh tahap gaban.
Hmmm, yang ni 1st bedroom di tingkat atas rumah. Bilik ni pulak, penuh dengan perabot yang saya beli waktu tinggal di Baiduri ketika baru kahwin. Baru ni, katil ni separuh runtuh dikerjakan oleh tiga orang anak teruna yang perasan mereka masih kanak-kanak.....adake dah form 4 dan form 5 lompat lagi atas katil?...betul la...tapi you alls, jangan tak datang pulak ye lepas ni, Acik Shuk dah betul kan katil ini, dia lekat kan balik dengan besi supaya tak runtuh, kalau runtuh gak, cikbib beli baru..(cikbib kan kaya..amiin...pas ni beli tanah kat atas tu and buat bangalow, amiin)

Katil ni beli kat Perabot Bahagia Seksyen 9...bila bawa pindah, dia punye skru longgar sikit..so, Shukri kena pakukan jadi permanent and stabil. Cadar tu pulak, saya beli di Laos...saya suka cadar ni, tapi tak boleh guna untuk katil master bedroom sekarang sebab saiznya lain.

Nampak karpet tu? yang tu beli kat kedai karpet yang kami singgah everyweek lepas joging dan makan roti canai di seksyen 9. Saya selalu singgah dan boleh tak beli satu mende pun, tapi bila Shukri ikut singgah, dia tu mesti tidak dapat menahan hawa nafsunya untuk membeli, lalu terbelilah karpet tuh...wa ka ka...almari yang nampak bucu aje tu pulak, beli kat perabot bahagia aja...haa, yang cermin dinding tu pulak, yang tu baru sikit, kami beli di Nilai 3..Bilik ni selalu di huni oleh orang Ipoh (kakak dan abang Hatta) dan Athirah. Athirah loves this room

Bilik ni, ada campur-campur. Karpet tu, beli kat Makro Ipoh waktu saya nak kawin..since emak simpan je, saya curi bawa balik Shah Alam..he he...cermin tu, memang baru beli kat Giant Seksyen 14..belum gantung pun lagi..

hmmm, katil ni baru 2 bulan beli..kat kedai Ten on Ten Plaza Massalam. Teringin nak ada English style kan, so beli lah satu katil warna putih. Cadar tu, cadar lama, tapi cantikkan...bilik ni sebelum ni jadi bilik iron baju. Shuk and I fikir, sebelum bilik ni jadi bilik operasi macam dekat Baiduri, better put some furnitures and decorate it. I like this room.

Yang ini pulak, master bedroom..oo, langsir tu kita orang buat dekat Lentera, somewhere near Jusco Equin Park. One whole house, harga dalam RM2,300.00 (campur langsir sliding door, jangan lupa). Waktu kat Baiduri dulu, kita orang beli je kain dan suruh orang Nagoya tu jahit..mana tahu nak menempah kat kedai lain...kalau ada tv, nak letak di sudut inilah, best kan (berangan, jangan tak berangan)

Bilik ni, banyak yang baru. Katil ni baru beli after more than six months we moved to the new house. Beli dekat...Valencia...tak jauh dari Lentera la..Sebenarnya kami beli satu set dengan meja cermin, tapi lepas tu cermin dia pecah...kita orang pun beli la meja cermin satu dekat Perabot Bahagia lagi, he he ...tapi saya suka meja cermin yang baru tu sebab dia ada macam sliding yang membolehkan kita simpan barang di belakang..penting tuh, barulah kurang kesemakan

Hmmm, yang ni cabinet pasang waktu buat renovation rumah...yang sebelah tu, pintu toilet la

oh ye, frame gambar tu,abang bagi, dari Malawi. Dia bagi dua, satu lagi, ada orang amik. Sape ntah...

from another angle..o ye, cadar tu, beli kat kedai jual cadar di Putrajaya, Made from China la...bila I tengok je cadar ni, terus jatuh cinta...ooooooh

Bilik ni tak de carpet lagi, tengok budget...lagi satu, kalau ada tv lagi best kan...he he

itu aja lah, gambar ni di ambil pada 1 Ogos 2010, one year after we moved. Insya allah, semoga Allah akan memberi kesihatan dan kelapangan untuk saya maintain rumah ini dengan penuh kasih sayang.

Mengimbau Kenangan di Baiduri

Gambar-gambar di atas mengimbau kembali kenangan di Baiduri yang telah kami tinggalkan hampir setahun. We had such a good time there and we love the house very much...just that after sometimes we feel that we need more space..semoga adik-adik yang menyewa rumah tu sekarang dapat menyayangi dan menjaga rumah ini sebaik kami menjaganya dulu...

SETAHUN DI JALAN FERUM

Pejam celik, pejam celik, kami sudah setahun di Jalan Ferum. Pada tarikh yang sama tahun lepas, kami berdua terkejar-kejar untuk menguruskan perpindahan. Pada masa yang sama, kami juga sedih untuk meninggalkan Baiduri yang penuh dengan kenangan.

Rasanya duduk di rumah baru ni sangat ok. Walaupun tidak sempurna, kami tetap sayang rumah ni. Antara ciri-ciri yang penting adalah tempat ini adalah selamat (insya allah), tenteram (agak jauh dari jalan besar, unlike Baiduri), jiran-jiran yang amat prihatin dengan kebersihan luar rumah (buat masa ini la), and somehow, rasanya keadaan rumah tidak berapa panas (air ventilation not bad) dan banyak lagi.

Masaalah pulak...he he he...ada Johnny bikin filem kat sebelah rumah (anjing la)...sabar je la...lagi satu, mungkin di tingkat bawah ni, agak gelap sebab pencahayaan kurang...bukaan rumah yang hanya 20 kaki dan kedudukan tangga di bahagian depan mungkin adalah penyebab kepada keadaan ini,...still tolerable anyway, boleh pasang lampu lagipun. Lagi satu, saya geram sikit dengan pilihan toilet bowl di tandas bawah..perlu di tukar satu hari nanti...

Untuk improvement...kalau mampu, insya allah kita beli tanah kat atas tu dan buat bungalow...wakaka..

If not, maybe we will extend the kitchen, to replace the fence will solid wall, to change the porch floor with tiles and to have a new LCD tv...he he he, so that we could move the present tv to our bedroom, barulah macam hotel. Lagi satu, to install air conditioner in our living room

hmmm, I have thought of uploading photos of the rooms which I have not done earlier. Unfortunately our laptop's bluetooth is not working.

Am I happier here?..hmm I think so. Both of us need more space and no doubt Baiduri was becoming a little smaller. The space also allow us to entertain more guests..yup, we received many-many guests since we moved here, alhamdulillah.

And last but not least, I am very happy in my new house because I have the best house mate ever... my beloved tok bomoh..

Dejavu

Opppssss...sorry la sebab sudah lama tak update blog ni, penyakit malas sudah melanda..

Anyway, this post is about Hani's wedding (Hani is my niece, husband's side ) which was held from Thursday till Sunday last week. It started off with 'khatam Quran' ceremony. I have never attended one before, so this is new to me. Basically, the bride read the short surahs and everybody else listened...except for me of course since I coughed non stop, memalukan betul...after that, as usual, we ate...nasi putih dengan kuah nenas warna kuning yang sedap

On the second day, it was the nikah's day... held at a nearby surau after solat asar. After that, there's high tea at the bride's house...ada kambing lagi...ada mee rebus, karipap, kuih gelang dll...

On Saturday, the reception was held at Precint 16 Community Hall...semua orang kena pakai peach...I don't have one, so mine was a little orange...

On Sunday, the groom's house at Jalan Kebun...nasi dia sedap betullll...

Well..actually, there was so many thing to tell but I would like to highlight on one thing..the sad feeling of a bride to be left at her new family's house...

Watching Hani cried from far make me remember the way I felt when the same thing happened 4 years ago... ha ha ha, how I cried. I felt lost, fortunately I was already 36 years old and mature...if not, I sure insisted on following my family back home that afternoon. My husband was not helping either, he prefers to mingle with the guys and in fact he only entered the room at almost 4 in the morning...kejam kan?? no doubt I was having my period then...he he

I woke up late on my first day at my in law's...ha ha ha fail!!! The thing is, I did wake up early but everyone else was sleeping...whatever the reason was, I still failed...ha ha

The first 2 years was not easy for me, even now is not that easy. But I will always pray that my stay at my mother in law's is going to be an easy one so that the long days will passed quickly..yes, I turn to Allah

Okay lah, enough story, do enjoy the photos..

hubby in front of the dais the night of Khatam quran

wedding day (community hall, precint 16, Putrajaya)

my side of family who attended

orang kata, jangan bergambar dengan orang yang lebih cantik, nanti kita nampak kurengg cantik pulak...is this a mistake?

I love the fresh flowers....

One for the camera again

Fraser Hill

Bulan lepas, kita orang pergi jalan-jalan ke Kuala Kubu dan terus tersesat ke Fraser Hill...percaya? he he, anyway, kami telah tersesat sejauh 40 km hingga sampai di Fraser Hill, bila sampai , I was so excited tapi Shuk sudah suspen, minyak dah nak habis, takut nak naik lagi..di situ tiada petrol station, we have to go back to KKB....isk...frust gue. Anyway, we did snap some pictures before we went back

Shuk termenung, I love the cool environment. I wish we did bring some food and can stop somewhere, have a picnic..minyak kereta pulak habis...tak de rezeki

cantik kan bunga-bunga dia, nak suruh shuk amik gambar, dia pergi jalan jauh-jauh pulak, leceh betul

Round about ni memang tempat untuk bergambar, walaubagaimanapun, sekiranya anda che' mon, and tidak akan bertukar jadi che' kur bila bergambar di sini, percayalah

Balai Polis Bukit Fraser, antik

Kuala Sepetang Lagi Sekali

Baru -baru ini, kita orang pergi Kuala Sepetang sekali lagi untuk pekena mee udang...semua orang order mee udang biasa, kecuali Encik Shuk yang order mee udang special. Sebenarnya, dua-dua lebih kurang sama aja, kecuali udang mee special besar sikit. Selain daripada itu, kita orang order udang goreng tepung...lepas makan, semua orang mabuk udang, tapi, yang paling penting, rasanya opah happy and puas hati...mission accomplished!..

Kami pergi kedai Mak Jah, Izzat kata, dia pernah makan di kedai yang lain sebelum ni, tapi kedai yang ni okay sikit rasanya, jika dibandingkan dengan tempat yang dia makan dulu..harga pulak, 3 mee udang biasa, 1 special, 1 udang goreng tepung, 2 laici, 1 orang juice dan 1 air masak = RM50.00....okay kan?..apa-apapun, sila layan gambar ni....

senyum opah, senyum

Shuk & Izzat, letih makan...

udang goreng tepung, yang ni memang sedap, yummy

Alhamdulillah...kenyang

Outings...

Apparently hubby was not happy with my latest post. We did go to Malacca on Thursday after all (sorry we did not asked you to come along kakak, it was a last minute decision) despite of the fact that hubby was having a very bad headache and he insisted that there must be a post on the visit . M U S T!!

We started off from Shah Alam at around 9.00. Stopped at Seremban to have breakfast and reached Malacca at around 11.00. Actually this trip is to compensate the activities we missed during our last trip with Kakak earlier.

The first thing we did was to take a boat ride along Malacca river,...it was ok, but according to friends, the scenery is much better at night, well, next time maybe we could take the night ride .

We walked to A-famosa after that, took some photos and climb the hill to St. Paul Church. I have always enjoyed the hill climbing and the panoramic view from the hill...we were really sweating ...best..if only I had put on my jogging shoes instead.

We walked to the Ship Museum after that. Thank god that the museum was fully air-conditioned since both of us were sweating when we reached the place. Once finished, we stopped by the Taming Sari tower to have some drinks and buy a very interesting fridge magnet...I have the photo below...On our way back to our car, we passed through a very shady garden, with many big trees. We sat there for a while (almost 30 minutes) when both decided that we better find something to eat and do some shopping.

We were lucky since our car was parked next to this arcade. We shopped for some belacan and had lunch, yes, Malaccan assam pedas, yummy....

We decided to go straight home after that..but stopped at Nilai 3 la plakk...and my husband bought another carpet there...OMG.....tak tau nak cakap...but we plan to go to Nilai 3 again in future, whenever we do not know where to go...

Shuk was so excited to go aboard despite of his bad headache

Shuk tengah layannn ( I don't know what's in his mind)

A-Famosa...

Shuk letih, but I guess the exercise has done some good to his headache, improves blood circulation maa

Picture of St Paul's wall, if you do not understand this photo, do not bother, I do not understand either

Ini saya dekat muzium kapal, nampak selipar oren saya tuh?

Check out the kebaya fridge magnet, I love it

finally, the carpet we bought at Nilai 3. Please concentrate only on the carpet, not at the pillows and unfolded blankets...pleaseeee.

I hope you are happy Shuk! Everyone, we did go to Malacca after all...he he

Merajuk?

I just would like to trash out what's inside my mind now so that I could get through the days without having to spoil the whole day feeling unhappy.

I have planned this long holiday weeks earlier. Since it's no fun celebrating your holidays alone, I have consulted hubby on the dates and he has sort of promised me that if he cannot have the whole 4 days, he could at least get 2 days off...and I was happy.

We wanted to go to Cameron Highland but has decided to go to Malacca instead. I have already felt so excited until he informed me just now that his application was not approved, he could only get Thursday off...and I was like....I don't know what to say.

So, to whom should I trash my anger now? I feel like crying out loud...I am crying now!!

Can I make it through?

I am now sitting in my living room, on a sunny Monday morning. I'm on leave today. Yeah, I desperately need a break.

My boss was on a long MC last month and left me with all the responsibilities. I felt as if I was brought into the middle of sea and was left alone to swim to the shore. There was a time that I think it was so unfair but fortunately I was not given time to think. Too much work and too little time limit my mind to wonder... I just go on and on and I must admit that there were times that I feel my head felt so heavy and I just wish out...yeah, I just want a break..

I know I must not prolong it for it will could damage my health..I could get hypertension (god forbids)...I could get heart attack...I'm serious. I must learn to take things easy and learn to control stress...I must love myself more.

But come to think of it, I think I wouldn't mind doing loads of jobs. I do not really mind to stay back and finish up my work everyday...but I think what's missing is motivation....I must find ways to motivate myself and also my officers, and please god, help me....

....

I got this from another blog which I think is worth sharing.....

The Holy Prophet (SAW) Said:

1) Four things that make your body sick are excessive talking, excessive sleeping, excessive eating and excessive meeting/outing with people

2) Four things that destroys the body are worrying, sorrow (sadness/grief), hunger and sleeping late at night

3) Four things that make the face looking dull and haggard are lying, being disrespectful /impudent (knowingly), baseless arguements and excessive immorality (committing sins without fear)

4) Four things that make the face glow and shine are piety, loyalty, generosity & kindness and helpful to others without being asked

5) Four things make the Rizqi (Sustenance) stop are sleeping till late in the morning (from Fajr to sunrise), not performing Fardhu or irregular in Prayers, laziness/idleness and treachery/Dishonesty

6) Four things that bring/increase the Rizqi are staying up in the night in prayers, excessive repentance, regular charity and Zikr (Remembrance of Allah)

The Holy Prophet (SAW), also said to communicate to others even if it is just One Verse (Ayaah), for this one verse will stand out on the Day of Judgment for intercession.

Allah Hu Alam.

The Holy Prophet (SAW) said,

" Stop doing everything during the Azaan, even if you are reading the Quran. The person who talks during the Azaan will not be able to say the Kalima E Shahada on his/her death bed".

Can I Write?

My last post was done in BM because I was not confident that I can go far writing in English. Funny enough, I discovered that my post in BM was not as good either..he he...maybe I should just stop dreaming on becoming a famous writer...he he he

Remember those days when you were asked to list out what your ambitions were?...I remember having 'penulis' in my list...kih kih kih....but now, I am dreaming of having my own sitcom series, titled 'Cikbib and Co.'...tak abih-abih bermimpi....starring Mat Misai..

Anyway, I am a pieces girl, and one significant characteristic of a pieces girl is, a 'dreamer'.

Being a dreamer, I have no problem of being left alone. My mind could just travel the world. I could do that during meetings too...(ciri-ciri boss mithali)..yup, I have another problem, I could not focus and more than often, I was caught alive....just now...uwaaaa...

Why am I writing about being a dreamer under the title 'can I write'...hmm, I must be a very unstable person..yup..it is now already 10 pm and I haven't had my bath..I brought along one file which I plan to browse through before going to bed..if I still have the energy..yup, energy from the instant noodle I had for dinner...good nite guys.....

Apa yang saya mahu dalam kehidupan ini?

Saya mengambil keputusan untuk menggunakan bahasa Melayu untuk 'post' kali ini, bahasa Melayu yang betul dan bagus, insya allah.

Saya rasa saya telah agak berubah kebelakangan ini. Perubahannya tidaklah terlampau ketara, tetapi melalui pengalaman dan pengamatan, ada beberapa perkara yang telah bertukar kepentingannya di dalam kehidupan saya sekarang berbanding dahulu.

Sekarang saya sangat mementingkan 'kegembiraan'. Saya mahu gembira. Saya berusaha untuk gembira. Di waktu tertekan, saya akan cuba untuk mengawal diri dan berdoa banyak-banyak supaya tekanan itu dapat di atasi, dan saya boleh terus gembira.

Saya cuba untuk menikmati setiap apa yang saya lakukan. Jika dahulu segalanya dibuat secara tergesa-gesa, saya cuba untuk menjadi lebih tenang dan melakukan setiap apa yang dilakukan dengan selesa.

Mungkin perkara ini agak biasa bagi orang lain, tapi saya kurang dapat melakukannya sebelum ini. Saya diajar supaya menjadi cekap, menepati masa dan berdisiplin. Saya diajar untuk melakukan semua kerja dengan cepat, tanpa membuang masa. Semasa duduk di asrama, emak saya sentiasa berpesan supaya membuat semua kerja dengan cepat, kalau tidak, saya kan ditinggalkan.

Saya masih melakukan apa yang diajar, cuma sekarang, saya lebih memilih. Sebagai contoh, saya merasakan masa mandi adalah masa yang baik untuk mengurangkan 'stress', oleh itu, saya tidak lagi tergesa-gesa untuk mandi dalam masa yang terlampau cepat. Urutan badan (semasa menyabun, dalam bentuk bulatan) adalah bagus untuk perjalanan darah, dan baik untuk kesihatan, jadi, sekiranya tiada apa-apa komitmen lain, saya akan menikmati masa mandi.

Saya juga cuba mengurangkan 'stress' untuk sentiasa terlampau berdisiplin/menghormati waktu. Walaupun disiplin ini masih saya pegang sewaktu di tempat kerja, saya cuba mengurangkannya pada waktu-waktu yang tidak begitu memerlukan. Saya penat dengan kehidupan yang penuh dengan disiplin.

Saya dapati sebelum ini saya kurang memahami 'kemanusiaan'. Saya macam askar yang merasakan segalanya perlu dilakukan dengan cara 'saya'. Saya percaya cara saya adalah cara yang terbaik...tapi sekarang, saya rasa, saya penat. Saya lebih mengikut arus, belajar memahami, belajar gembira dengan cara orang lain sekali-sekala, saya dapati lebih selesa dengan cara itu.

Saya hanya mahu gembira. Saya mahu kehidupan saya diberkati Allah dan sentiasa di dalam petunjuknya. Saya mahu melakukan semua kerja yang diamanahkan dengan baik, dan bersungguh-sungguh, dan saya juga ingin melakukan kerja saya dengan kasih sayang. Saya mahu kepuasan daripada kerja yang dilakukan.

Selepas kerja, saya mahu pulang ke rumah dengan hati yang tenang. Saya mahu menikmati setiap saat di rumah, bersama keluarga, dengan gembira. Saya mahu melihat pokok-pokok saya membesar subur, rumah saya kemas dan suami saya selesa.

Saya cuba untuk meluangkan lebih masa untuk keluarga dan melakukan aktiviti yang menarik bersama.

Saya rasa, saya cuma mahu kehidupan yang sederhana, dan diredhai Allah, mampukah saya mendapatkannya?..

After 4 Years Together..

It's my wedding anniversary today..yes, the 4th year. How do I feel after spending 4 years with hubby?...he he, okay la juga...not bad

We had no time to really develop this love feeling before we got married. It all started like a dream. It took less than 6 months from the day the proposal was made to the day we got married....that was the easy part anyway, moments after that instead, I must say, was rather challenging.

But then, it was not that hard either. Yes, we did experience some bad times but I must say that things are getting better each day. We just learn to understand each other and we are still learning.

I remember those days when we were in our 'war zone' and decided not to talk to each other. This may last for almost 1 week, depending on whether the wife decided to start the peace talk or not. As for the husband..no, he will not initiate any peace talk..no, once I decided to call him mr no action...huh, geram betul waktu tu...

I realised now that we have less 'war zone'...alhamdulillah.

I hope we will lead a better life after this, insya allah.

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For my beloved nieces and nephews..congratulations for your SPM results. This is only a start for a bigger challenge later in life. You have just opened one door, but there will be many doors for you to open later. Good luck.

I turned.....(rahsia)

I turned 40 today...yay

Happy? Actually there's just too many things in my mind, I could not really celebrate.

I shall write later once everything is settled (I wonder when)..

I received many many wishes and no present at all ...hu hu hu...sedey

Okay, maybe I shall write more next week end..

Hari ni...

Hari ni, genap 2 tahun Yong meninggal dunia....can't help feeling terribly sad. Al-fatihah untuk Yong!

bubur kacang & kopi O

Mek Yah gave me coffee recently, which she brought from Uganda. I have almost forgotten about it till tonight, he he.

I happened to cook some bubur kacang yesterday and together (the coffee and bubur kacang), they make a nice photo...he he

I am watching 'Rachel Getting Married' now (HBO, Anne Hathaway starring)...and the coffee is making me feeling very hot..dah la memang panas, I am sweating ..

I brought some work home but have not got the chance to even open my suitcase..he he, but I have to after this.

okay...chow dulu...I want to concentrate on the movie first...and start with my office work after this...

Pak Su Meninggal Dunia

I was just informed that Pak Su (check out my earlier entry dated 31 January 2010) passed away at 11.40 a.m today. Alfatihah.

malam di I-City Shah Alam

I would like to share this few photos taken in I-City recently. Went there with hubby, Izzat and Athirah. Once we were there, tak habis-habis menyesal sebab tak bawa abang hatta and family ke situ baru-baru ni...insya allah, kalau ada rezeki, lain kali...

Cikbibcome is now 1 year old

I should have celebrated my blog's birthday yesterday, tapi sudah lupa looo....Happy Birthday Cikbibcome!

...

There's so many stories to tell actually, but within limited time and this 'stressful' mind, I have to really select the issues and be able to put it into writing, which is not easy.

Office life is a little stressful nowadays, but I don't think it is something that I would like to share with everyone. I hope I would adapt to the work nature fast. I don't mind having many things to do, but having to 'mengadap' the top people really make my blood go 'upstairs'. Being evaluated every time you see them is worse.... I just dislike it. But I guess it is best for me to just except it and learn to adapt. Above all, pray for Allah assistance always...I do talk to Allah nowadays, during my journey to office every morning. I can feel some of the 'weight' being lifted from my head, really, it works.

Stressful time is also time for you to know who your true friends are. Of course I must thank my husband, my good old friends...min, atim, zai, shahril (who never fail to visit if I happen to be in my room, which rarely happens nowadays), zakiah, kak mek (doa untuk saya selalu ye kak mek)...Zul, kak nursiah..all those who reads this post :))), you know who you are...

And you know what, it is also the time when you suddenly realise that you just could not be friends with these few people anymore, and it's funny. I did try actually and no doubt, I did find it hard, I found it difficult to fit in more than once, but I just kept going thinking that you can be friends with everybody...but I finally has made up my mind recently...stop!..yup, I will not yell, I will not say bad things, but I will just stop caring, stop trying...which I know will not effect these persons at all, I just throw away my passion of staying as good friends with them, sayonara..

okay, I guess I have enough on that, let's continue

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MY VISIT TO ACU'S HOUSE


Dua beradik tua, acu and mak...I must say that acu looked more cheerful than before

Shuk and Paksu, this time Paksu really could not talk, the last time we visited him, he asked Shuk to take his car..he he

I visited acu and paksu when I was back in Perak for Din's funeral. I must say that Pak Su's condition is worse than before. He could no longer talk and according to Acu, he refused to eat.

During our chat, I was made to know that both Acu and my mother is worry over abang being away for 3 years in Tokyo...he he ...Abang kan antara cucu lelaki tua yang penting. Mak risau kalau ditakdirkan dia meninggal dunia ke waktu abang tak de...risaula dia kan.

Tapi, takdir tuhan tiada siapa yang tahu, Din dan Yong sudah pergi dulu, walaupun mereka terlalu muda jika di bandingkan dengan makcik2 dan pakcik2 yang lain. Oleh itu, let's pray that Allah grant us with good health and dipanjangkan umur, insya allah kita jumpa lagi.

Abang's flight will be on 16 Feb 2010, malam...11.55 kut. I'm not sure of his plan yet but shall inform everyone if I heard anything....

Malena & TBH

I think this week is going to be among the most memorable one for Malena. She watched his TBH performed live last week..hmmm

I remember kakak, when you were smaller, your mum was also the person who cut your hair. Since you were already in school at that time, one of your friend (your best friend I believe) has shared her experience having her hair cut at a salon and it just got you excited...maybe as excited as watching TBH live?...I don't know

No doubt it wasn't me who brought you to the salon (which was located at PKNS complex), it was your mother. But then, being sisters, your mother has told me how happy you were and you were smiling from ear to ear when the lady started to cut your hair.

When you were saying that you are so happy and will be smiling through out the week, I just cannot put off the image of you, a little girl sitting on the chair, smiling widely waiting for your haircut...you know what, that image really make me feel like smiling the whole week myself.

Happy Birthday Adli

Better late than never right?...terlupa la plak nak wish Adli Happy birthday...his birthday was actually on 19 January ....yang ke 19...Happy Birthday Adli..

Good Bye Din..

I had a busy day last Thursday. My schedule was full, I had to attend a talk given by Tan Sri the whole morning, lunch meeting, another meeting at 2.30 and another one at 4.00 which was supposed to end around 7.00...huh

I went for my Zuhr prayer at around 2.00. After ablution, I managed to peep at my other hp and realized that there's a new message. After my Zuhr prayer, I managed to open the message and found out that Din, a cousin of mine passed away at the age of 38.

I was still in a confuse situation at that time so I decided to carry on with the 2.30 meeting of which I had to chair. I managed to do some thinking and a few telephone calls after that, and decided to go back to Ipoh that evening, I just got to.

Din and I were very close when we were younger. He's younger than I am and address me as kak. He's married and has 3 kids.

He's a photographer with Utusan Malaysia . He used to be very active in sports and very passionate about his job. The news about him passed away really saddened me and everyone else in the family.

Part of the reason why I think I need to go back was to give Andak (Din's father/my uncle) support. But I guess the situation was different once I reached Andak's house that night where instead of giving support, I was the one who cried. It seems that our aunties and uncles were very calm. Those who cried the most were the younger ones i.e. me and my female cousins....

One of my officer informed me that the news appeared in Utusan Online that very afternoon, but the next day (Friday), the news came out in Utusan Malaysia. Many of Din's friends came and it was clear that he's adored by his friends which I could fully understand why.

You'll be missed by everybody my dear cousin, we love you. Insya allah, semoga rohnya diberkati dan diberi kemaafan, insya allah